ICRS: Mayor McCheese

Name: Mayor McCheese
Age: 25
Height: Large
Preferred Drink: Is food a drink?
Training Grounds: Milwaukee
Overall ICRS: 4.0

Individual Competitive Score

Tolerance:
* * * * *
At 275 lbs. of nasty, sweaty, jiggling man-beef (a.k.a. Meef), you'd be a fool to think this kid can't take down a few beers. Pending any last minute hospitalizations like his 21st birthday, he should still be standing at closing ceremonies.

Boot Factor:
* * * *
While always a liability when it comes to vomiting, there isn't a player in the field who can pour as much disgusting crap into his/her system without showing any obvious effects. (Note the word "show" because you can occasionally "smell" the ill effects) His internal organs may be crying on the inside, but his chubby face will still be laughing on the outside. He looks to have limited competition in the 3 Beer Chug event, but it remains to be seen how that will affect him over the course of the remaining events.

Chug Ability:
* * * * *
It's not the two-swallows per beer from his earlier years, but even at three to four gulps McCheese won't be trailing many at the finish line. This is where he shines, and he's added about 40+ lbs. since college to reiterate that fact. We read you loud and clear, McCheese.

Quarter Skills:
* * * *
With above average hand-eye coordination and a blatant disregard for any beer penalty that awaits him, McCheese is formidable competitor in this event. But performing under pressure continues to be a sore spot for the aging veteran. When asked if he feels he can come through when it counts, McCheese had this to say: "...I kinda feel like a brick house that's been built on a foundation made of Saltine Crackers." -- McCheese is always working food into his analogies.

Pong Ability:
* * *
Almost none. We expect he'll want to take this event head on, but get vetoed by the rest of his team on grounds that he sucks. Consider him an early scratch.

Beer Die/Guy:
* * * *
Handles the basic rules of the game with ease, but his range and arm movements are limited due to an excess of fatty cells in his upper armpits. He could be a factor if paired with a more agile and versatile teammate.

Flip Ability:
* * * *
To say he's lost a step since his college days would be an understatement. Once a rock solid anchor, McCheese currently succumbs to even the slightest bit of outside pressure. Nevertheless, that six-inch diameter expressway that he calls a throat keeps him competitive even after his fourth flip. As the pavement will attest: he's a force to reckoned with.

Intangibles:
* * *
McCheese is a true workhorse in the drinking arena. While not particularly good at any one event, he'll provide team stability in a volatile competition. If college has taught us anything, you put 120 beers on his shoulders and 8 flights of stairs in his path, and this kid is going to make some people proud. Others will almost certainly vomit. But some will be proud.