Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Actually Something Serious

Let's momentarily break from dehumanizing competitors to address the issue of drunk driving. Here's our stance on it. Don't do it. It's retarded.

If you are participating in the Beer Olympics or are just an over served spectator you should plan on an alternative mode of getting home. No one needs to get a DUI (loss of license for one year), get into an accident, or kill anyone. And if you don't think drinking and driving leads to these things you are retarded. Thanksgiving weekend is one of the biggest times for alcohol related fatalities to occur on the road. Don't be one of them.

So know going in to the competition that you won't be driving home and plan for it. Here are your three options.

1.) Get a cab. Visit www.yellowpages.com and see the listing of over 25 cab companies serving the area. Being near O'hare certainly has its advantages. You can take that directly home or if you don't want to take it into the city, there is a blue line stop that is a five minute cab ride from Horn Champions Stadium.

2.) Get a designated driver. If you can't afford a cab, then you are stuck looking for friends that won't drink so they can safely get you from point A to point B.

3.) Crash at Horn Champions Stadium. He's not going to be happy about it, but the arena offers six couches and over 2,000 square feet of flat indoor surface to pass out on. If all else fails, just lay down. You can figure out how to get home in the morning.

On a day when most competitors will have trouble walking, don't think that you'll be able to drive. Plan ahead and the only thing you'll have to worry about is how much it's going to hurt to do the wheelbarrow after ten beers.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very responsible post, Chairman M. 13 years ago this Thanksgiving, my neighbor was paralyzed by a drunk driver that swerved across 4 lanes of traffic and hit her car.

I'll be setting up a tent in the back yard when the festivities end. Y'know...like the pilgrims did when they participated in the first Beer Olympics.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Guys aren't as big a losers as I always thought you were. There is hope for your generation.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dare say that sounds like smack talk from the Silver Bullet!

You would think checking this website on a daily basis at 50 years old would prevent you from calling anyone else a loser.

"Hey Pot, it's Kettle..."

9:10 AM  

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