Counter-Point: Beer Die vs. Beer Guy
The Story as Seen from the SideSober Enough to Remember
For those of you that were under the impression that Chairman M's recent post was a factual history of the game of Beer Guy, I'd like to apologize to you. What you just read would be better classified as amateur science fiction or fantasy. Seeing as we can't have a large group of potential guy advocates walking around believing any of that crap, I thought I'd take a moment right now to clear up any confusion onthe subject that the Chairman may have caused.
I'm not sure if it's an undeserved sense of accomplishment or the alcohol that's clouding his memory here, but the real tale of Beer Guy dates back to the summer of '00. It was then that we first got addicted to the game of Guy in a small Wisconsin cabin, similar to what the Chairman described. This, however, was not the first time that all of us had seen the game.
To several of us, the game dates back a few more months to a party in Milwaukee where we watched two of our lacrosse team captains annihilate an opposing team who looked like they were about to pass out on themselves between each throw. From that moment, my interest was officially piqued. I was informed from them that the game was "Beer Guy" (or at least, at my level of intoxication, that's how I understood it). By the time we revisited the game at the cabin (months later), it was emotionally too late for me to make any adjustments to the name.(In the same way that I will never call Boat Racing "Taps" or "Flippy Cup.")
As the story goes, the older guys broke out the table and asked if Chairman M and myself would like to play them in a drinking game. Chairman M was sheepishly worried that he was too full from his 6" sub to play and his fragile girl stomach would not be able to handle a lot of beer, when I informed him that I had seen the game before and itusually only makes you drink about 2-3 beers. Call it how you see it, but on the whole that statement is not far from the truth.
After the opening throw sank the Chairman's cup and he spit biz, we knew this game would be an unfortunate exception. Two throws later, they sank our cup again. Luckily for our team, I fearlessly spit a "2" to keep the drinking requirements within reach. Slowly we mounted a comeback and put in a strong showing in our first game. But over time, the beer took its toll.
Later on, I fell into what experts refer to as a "Biz-a-thon" where every other word out of my mouth was a horrific "Five" or "Seven." Since the drinking penalties were hurting us more and more as we went on, this made the Chairman and myself extremely nervous. He reprimanded me for my carelessness and play continued. Not 20 seconds later I fell into an extremely obvious "biz-trap" and as I looked over to apologize to my teammate I was met with a flying man-slap to the face. That's right, the Chairman five-starred me across the cheek in our very first game of Guy. Knowing what I had done, my only response was to hold my head in shame and attempt to drink both penalties as penance.
We were obviously hooked on the game. Any game that can take me from"full" to "uncontrollably drunk" in that small of a time frame is likely to get a good endorsement. After the weekend was over, the Chairman and I went back to our respective colleges to spread the good word of whatwe had seen. It was then that the Chairman taught and tried to develop the game he calls "Beer Die" to a small group of socially and athletically-handicapped nerds. I too spread the game, with the help of a few others like McCheese (who was also familiar with the MU lacrosse version) to a large group of "Beeratheletes" in Milwaukee. It was here that the two games started down very different paths.
The Chairman ended up padding all the rules to make the drinking penalties more tolerable so his frat sisters could continue playing with Wine Coolers and watered-down juice drinks. The Milwaukee version went through a different sort of transformation.
As the game spread with ease and players joined in from schools around the Midwest, it became obvious that we were becoming too good at the game. Through the years the basic rules needed to be adjusted to compensate for the growing pool of talented players. The rules were stiffened for maximum drinking and obstacles were added to make catching more challenging. But that's what any good sport does, it evolves overtime. If they didn't evolve, you would still see pro football players running around with leather caps and no face masks. Hockey players wouldn't wear helmets at all. And basketball would have a lot more goofy-looking white guys.
So that's the background of the two games, but what should be made a little more clear is that there really isn't any debate over the name of the game any more. As the Chairman admitted, Team MU and Team U of I met at Southern Illinois and faced off over naming rights. Later on, these two powerhouses met again, this time on U of I's home turf. In the opening game, the MU team shutout Team U of I in the first and only"perfect game" recorded to date. It's about time these Champaign boys just face up to the fact that the debate has been settled. Until they prove they know a thing or two about the game, it's not theirs to name. And if they need the topic settled one last time for closure, Team MUwill be happy to oblige come Olympic Day.
Posted by Chairman Horn
For those of you that were under the impression that Chairman M's recent post was a factual history of the game of Beer Guy, I'd like to apologize to you. What you just read would be better classified as amateur science fiction or fantasy. Seeing as we can't have a large group of potential guy advocates walking around believing any of that crap, I thought I'd take a moment right now to clear up any confusion onthe subject that the Chairman may have caused.
I'm not sure if it's an undeserved sense of accomplishment or the alcohol that's clouding his memory here, but the real tale of Beer Guy dates back to the summer of '00. It was then that we first got addicted to the game of Guy in a small Wisconsin cabin, similar to what the Chairman described. This, however, was not the first time that all of us had seen the game.
To several of us, the game dates back a few more months to a party in Milwaukee where we watched two of our lacrosse team captains annihilate an opposing team who looked like they were about to pass out on themselves between each throw. From that moment, my interest was officially piqued. I was informed from them that the game was "Beer Guy" (or at least, at my level of intoxication, that's how I understood it). By the time we revisited the game at the cabin (months later), it was emotionally too late for me to make any adjustments to the name.(In the same way that I will never call Boat Racing "Taps" or "Flippy Cup.")
As the story goes, the older guys broke out the table and asked if Chairman M and myself would like to play them in a drinking game. Chairman M was sheepishly worried that he was too full from his 6" sub to play and his fragile girl stomach would not be able to handle a lot of beer, when I informed him that I had seen the game before and itusually only makes you drink about 2-3 beers. Call it how you see it, but on the whole that statement is not far from the truth.
After the opening throw sank the Chairman's cup and he spit biz, we knew this game would be an unfortunate exception. Two throws later, they sank our cup again. Luckily for our team, I fearlessly spit a "2" to keep the drinking requirements within reach. Slowly we mounted a comeback and put in a strong showing in our first game. But over time, the beer took its toll.
Later on, I fell into what experts refer to as a "Biz-a-thon" where every other word out of my mouth was a horrific "Five" or "Seven." Since the drinking penalties were hurting us more and more as we went on, this made the Chairman and myself extremely nervous. He reprimanded me for my carelessness and play continued. Not 20 seconds later I fell into an extremely obvious "biz-trap" and as I looked over to apologize to my teammate I was met with a flying man-slap to the face. That's right, the Chairman five-starred me across the cheek in our very first game of Guy. Knowing what I had done, my only response was to hold my head in shame and attempt to drink both penalties as penance.
We were obviously hooked on the game. Any game that can take me from"full" to "uncontrollably drunk" in that small of a time frame is likely to get a good endorsement. After the weekend was over, the Chairman and I went back to our respective colleges to spread the good word of whatwe had seen. It was then that the Chairman taught and tried to develop the game he calls "Beer Die" to a small group of socially and athletically-handicapped nerds. I too spread the game, with the help of a few others like McCheese (who was also familiar with the MU lacrosse version) to a large group of "Beeratheletes" in Milwaukee. It was here that the two games started down very different paths.
The Chairman ended up padding all the rules to make the drinking penalties more tolerable so his frat sisters could continue playing with Wine Coolers and watered-down juice drinks. The Milwaukee version went through a different sort of transformation.
As the game spread with ease and players joined in from schools around the Midwest, it became obvious that we were becoming too good at the game. Through the years the basic rules needed to be adjusted to compensate for the growing pool of talented players. The rules were stiffened for maximum drinking and obstacles were added to make catching more challenging. But that's what any good sport does, it evolves overtime. If they didn't evolve, you would still see pro football players running around with leather caps and no face masks. Hockey players wouldn't wear helmets at all. And basketball would have a lot more goofy-looking white guys.
So that's the background of the two games, but what should be made a little more clear is that there really isn't any debate over the name of the game any more. As the Chairman admitted, Team MU and Team U of I met at Southern Illinois and faced off over naming rights. Later on, these two powerhouses met again, this time on U of I's home turf. In the opening game, the MU team shutout Team U of I in the first and only"perfect game" recorded to date. It's about time these Champaign boys just face up to the fact that the debate has been settled. Until they prove they know a thing or two about the game, it's not theirs to name. And if they need the topic settled one last time for closure, Team MUwill be happy to oblige come Olympic Day.
Posted by Chairman Horn
posted by Chairman M at 7:31 AM
3 Comments:
All of this fighting...it's not about naming rights. It's about competition. It's about teamwork. It's about getting me hammered.
A few comments:
-I am guessing we will be playing the complex version of "Beer GUY" that I have learned to love (and hate at the same time.)Correct?
-Flippy Cup? It's just Flip Cup for those of us from Western/Central NY.
-I have fallen into many "Biz/Buzz" traps. I think I need to learn to play mute.
Beer Guy is what we will be playing. (The version you learned) And even though he's a so-called "founder" of the game, I highly doubt you will see Chairman M entering into this event. House rules apply.
Flippy Cup, Flip Cup, Boatracing, Taps... they're all the same game (to us, anyway). Call it what you want.
Yes, playing mute would really help you out.
Cheryl's profile was an unfortunate victim of the editing process. Her current profile status is listed as "Delayed" on the verge of "Canceled."
However, you are more than welcome to bypass the process and create your own profile for her. Unfortunately, if it sucks it will not be posted and, like McCheese, you will be banned from further contributions.
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