ICRS: Toby

Name: Toby
Age: 25
Height: 6' 1"
Preferred Drink: Novacaine
Training Grounds: City of Brotherly Love
Overall ICRS: 2.5


Individual Competitive Score

Tolerance:
****
When you ask most experienced drinkers about their drinking prime, they'll probably tell you about some glorious period back in their early college years. Toby, however, managed to skip his college binge drinking years like a hiding ostrich - saving himself for what he calls the "ultimate party" and what the rest of us refer to as "dental school." Know this: he's in his prime right now and if he doesn't cower and flee to Michigan he'll be ready for a few beers.

Boot Factor:
*****
Never one to feel bad ruining your good times, Toby will stop drinking all-together if he feels the boot coming on. Mock him as you may, he'll sit there and redirect criticism (in the form of McCheese jokes) with that dumb smirk on his face until you're sick of complaining. It's with great reluctance that we give him a five-star rating in this category, but the simple fact is that he isn't going to boot one way or the other. ...Pussy.

Chug Ability:
**
If the moment is right he can down a full beer and belch in your face before you even know what hit you (...it's the smell that hits you first by the way). Then again, in that same moment you might catch Tina weight-lifting out of the corner of your eye. As far as chugging beer goes, Toby breaks out his "A" game about as often as cicadas come around.

Quarter Skills:
**
Well, he might have some skills working with dentures, root canals, and flossing regularly, but quarter skills... no.

Pong Ability:
**
Beer Pong is one of many games you can put into the category of "Things That Toby is Afraid Of." It will fit nicely next to "McCheese's Dirty Laundry" and "That Chick That Kinda Wants Sizlak."

Beer Die/Guy:
***
For someone who doesn't play all that often, he's actually pretty damn good at this event. We attribute this mostly to the fact that his arms are long enough to fondle the opposing player's nuts while he's attempting to catch the die. Oddly enough, there's no rule against it.

Flip Ability:
*
Toby flips cups like he hits on women. ...He doesn't. Get it? That was a gay joke. A cup once tried to flip over on Toby, but he turned it down citing he was more "into plates."

Intangibles:
**
Even though he's come on strong lately in the drinking game world, there's still a sour taste left in our mouths from what can only be called Toby's vaginal years. We're fairly certain that he didn't participate in his first drinking game (not counting "Make Sammy Drink") until well after he graduated college. But if you can ever get him to actually try something new, he usually ends up being decent at it. And yes, we've been asking him to give women a try for years.