ICRS: Nown

Name: Nown
Age: 24
Height: 5' 1"
Preferred Drink: Irish Whiskey
Training Grounds: Milwaukee
Overall ICRS: 3.25

Individual Competitive Score

Tolerance:
* * *
We foresee an internal struggle in the works. The old south-side Irish drinker inside her battles against the light-weight, urban marketing girl she has become. Who will emerge victorious? Our bet is Tina, but the spectators should get their money's worth as well.

Boot Factor:
* * * *
Not typically a problem for the perky lush, but be warned: when she falls, she falls hard. If it comes to it, you can expect at least four drunken phone calls in search of emotional support followed by her waking up the next day with personal possessions missing (clothing, car, eyebrows, self-respect, etc).

Chug Ability:
* * *
Although better when chugging out of another girl's cleavage, she's no slouch in this area by any means. Look for her to embarrass her quasi-male counterpart while simultaneously consoling him with words like "there, there... you're still special."

Quarter Skills:
* *
As a female, she's too easily distracted by shiny objects to call her a solid competitor in this event, but she should be able to regain her focus after the first couple bounces and stick around long enough to watch a few other people get eliminated before her. Outside of that, look for her to excel at not excelling at this event.

Pong Ability:
* * *
Fairly new to the game as whole, Nown has taken to beer pong like Papa discovering Internet porn. Nevertheless, she lacks the composure and follow-through to truly become a force. Will someone please tell me why women always jerk their arms back immediately after they let go of the ball?

Beer Die/Guy:
* * *
Her tiny circus-midget sized hands put her at an automatic disadvantage here, but she has improved by leaps and bounds since first sitting down at the Guy table. If anyone would like to bring their parents by for the festivities, we expect Nown will feel right at home introducing herself with her pants around her ankles.

Flip Ability:
* * * *
As a MU alumna you can pretty much assume she's got mad skills flipping a cup. Standard red, 12-oz., glass, Dixie... she doesn't care. Give her a pitcher and watch her chug, flip it, and immediately talk some trash! Her Richard Simmons-style attack will leave competitors nervous to go head-to-head each round.

Intangibles:
* * * *
She packs a decent punch in a small package, but her rookie status doesn't bode well for a competition that favors seasoned beer gamers. Her initial negativity towards the Beer Olympics as a whole had many expecting her to fail. But we've since witnessed a dramatic change as she's back to her bubbly and over-optimistic self in recent weeks. We're going out on a limb and predicting that she'll hyperventilate from over-excitement halfway through the obstacle course but recover in time to see the finish.