ICRS: Chuck Norris
Name: Chuck NorrisAge: Ageless
Height: 5' 8"
Preferred Drink: The Souls of Lesser Men
Training Grounds: 'Nam
Overall ICRS: 5.0
Individual Competitive Score
Tolerance:
* * * * *
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Boot Factor:
* * * * *
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
Chug Ability:
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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Quarter Skills:
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Pong Ability:
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Beer Die/Guy:
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Flip Ability:
* * * * *
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer
Intangibles:
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
posted by Chairman M at 8:25 PM
3 Comments:
Really guys? Chuck Norris?? I'd prefer Ditka!
-E
Chuck Norris only wears a shirt while showering. You can ask him why if you want, but chances are he'll kill you. Don't be afraid to bask in the glory of his photo. Nothing in this world is more right.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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