ICRS: Trifecta

Name: Trifecta
Age: 24
Height: 5' 11"
Preferred Drink: Whatever's not guarded
Training Grounds: Champaign
Overall ICRS: 3.625

Individual Competitive Score

Tolerance:
* * * *
Trifecta has honed his tolerance from an early age. He's battled mild forms of alcoholism (Do you drink alone? "I'm not drinking alone if I'm talking online") and several alcohol poisoning incidents ("I slept underneath a car last night for a couple of hours because I couldn't find my way home.") All this has lead to his current state: human on the outside, giant suffering liver on the inside.

Boot Factor:
* *
For a college project he stood in front of a class of 18 horrified students and described a night of drinking in which he vomited, urinated on a pile of library books, and shat himself. Which is worse, that it happened or that he used it to get an A in Speech Comm 114? Trifecta rarely spews, but when it happens it's a nuclear event.

Chug Ability:
* * *
He's usually slotted in the middle of a taps lineup but can be a sneaky play at anchor. My mind is too hazy to accurately rate him, but I don't remember Baby Bird hitting or yelling at him during play, so he must be decent.

Quarter Skills:
* * * *
Here's a guy who orders "cheapest beer possible" or picks up unattended drinks one night and tries to outspend an oil tycoon the next. Obviously not strong with large denominations, the quarter is more his speed, and he'll make you pay time and time again.

Pong Ability:
* * * *
Recently hit ten free throws in a row to force me to chug my beer, then before my pour foam settled, hit twenty more to further punish. Since there is no real defense allowed, Trifecta is money in this event.

Beer Die/Guy:
* * * *
Team U of I made a last minute decision to deem him Physically Unable to Perform in the SIU Beer Die/Guy Challenge of 2002. The move was costly and gave a more talented and fatter Marquette team the victory and SIU naming rights. Here in 2006, Trifecta has learned his lesson, and when the moment comes he'll be primed and ready to dominate.

Flip Ability:
* * * *
You think Trifecta doesn't have flipping skills? He breathes flipping ability. I'll let him elaborate, "My dream is to go into church during Communion, chug the wine, and one flip the chalice on the altar. I think Jesus would appreciate that. I might actually get nominated for Sainthood."

Intangibles:
* * * *
His team lacking a true Beast Chugger like McCheese, Trifecta will be forced to shoulder some of the heavy lifting along with team captain Chairman M. If the extra load doesn't hurt his finesse and stability in some of the more precise games he could be in the hunt for MVP. In a way he's been training for this moment his entire life.